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CommentBuzz: The Week’s Best Reader Comments About Beyoncés New ‘Do, Lady Gaga’s Leaked Song, and More

Can I tell you a secret? My life is pretty great. I saw Beyonc perform at Barclays Center on Monday. Sometimes, there are dogs in our offices. There are free bagels on Fridays. I’m re-watching Veronica Mars (because they’re making a movie!), and that’s a really great show to re-watch. There’s been a ton of fun Lady Gaga news lately, and you know I love me some Mother Monster. You know what, though? The best part of my week is always… [ANSWER AFTER THE JUMP BECAUSE I AM TRICKY LIKE THAT HAHAAHA]

My favorite part of the week is always reading through your comments and compiling them for a new edition of CommentBuzz. You should feel honored, commenters. And this is why:

Beyonc cut her hair, and everyone in the world freaked out. Mostly with excitement, though:

“I guess she took her song “If I were a boy” to heart. Hey, she is not the first one to wear such a style. I remember when Toni Braxton made the cut way way more famous. I ain’t cutting my hair just because Beyonce did! I’m allergic to scissors. She is still beautiful!” – anitamb

“yeah right, so she buys a nice short wig, who cares!” – missfoxy24

“I JUST OPENED A WEAVE STORE WHY YU DO DIS TO ME, BEY?! *cries*” – Rebecca

“She looks great no matter what.” – Rebecca

“Short,Long,Lots Of Hair Or No Hair B Is Still Beautiful No Matter What You Go Bey :D” – jayjayboo

“Guess she got tired of the fan snatching it.” – Marissa

A new Lady Gaga song, a demo of a song called “Aura,” hit the internet. Reactions were, well, mixed:

“WOHOOO” – Dzakwan

“This song is freaking horrible and hurts my ears. I wish this clowns 15 minutes would be up already. Does Gaga even have fans anymore. She is so irrelevant.” – giod

Speaking of Lady Gaga, she currently holds the lead in our VMA fashion showdown, but not all of you are pleased about that:

“Given that Gaga completely ripped off a piece of art from 1987 and said it was her original concept, she in no way deserves any recognition for that dress.” – Rob

Katy Perry may be so over her Teenage Dream-era blue wig, but…

“we over katy perry five years ago.” – Crabtree Nick

We took you on a tour of Jeff Lewis‘ $3 million L.A. house, and you liked what you saw:

“HOLY CRAP BAT MAN! That is one beautiful house. I love Jeff’s work but have always wondered why he puts so much into his own homes only to sell them shortly after completing them. This is his best work yet…totally love the colors and design. Yet another great Job Ryan….keep it up!!” – elojanis

Lastly, Miley Cyrus announced that the title of her new album is BANGERZ, and one commenter nicely summed up everyone’s thoughts:

“That’s uhm…Interesting…” – James

That’s all we have time for this week, Celebuzzers. Thanks for contributing! Remember, if you want to be featured in next week’s CommentBuzz, simply leave comments on your favorite articles.

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CommentBuzz: This Week’s Best Reader Comments About Britney Spears, Justin Bieber, and More

Come in, close the door, and have a seat. (Just kidding, I don’t have an office!) We have to talk…

… about what an amazing week it has been! I never, ever thought I would say that the first full week after a holiday week would be amazing, and yet here I am, saying just that. But really and truly, it was amazing. Lady Gaga is back. Like, FORREALZIES! Justin Bieber urinated in a bucket! And called Bill Clinton on the telephone! Beyonc sparkled, Amanda Bynes entertained us all, and, of course, Sharknado happened. Saved the best for last, obviously.

Another highlight of this amazing week has been reading all of your insightful comments! As I do every Friday, I am now going to highlight a selection of them for everyone to “ooh” and “aah” over.

We named Britney Spears‘ upcoming project the most anticipated album of 2013, and that got y’all excited:

“No Surprise At All! #GodneyAlwaysWins” – Malcolm

“It’s Britney, b*tch!” – Wheng

“Queen of Pop” – Makram

Speaking of Britney, we disagreed about her new “Ooh La La” music video:

i feel like some little teeny bopper should have been singing this “Ooh No No” song” – Jessica

“Omg are you serious its a video for a childrens movie !!!!! Cmon your real cool !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! & furthermore I was way more into the fact that it was adorable that she is doing the mom thing with her kids !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was Beautiful and your an asss !! I highly doubt she even cares what you think about the video ! It means something totally different for her !!” – Eddie

“I agree with Eddie. Unless people are naked in videos these days then they are not worthy. I loved this video and I know my grand kids will also. It is very cute and I am happy Britany did it with her kids. She has grown up.” – Glenda

In a week of big Justin Bieber news, perhaps the biggest item was his reunion with Selena Gomez:

“Seriously you guys just fight and then get back together for real that is stupid. Witch one is it not together or together.!!!” – Stephanie

Lastly, our ongoing Battle of the Bikini Bodies got some of you chatting:

“Britney, even if she didn’t have the body, she has the humble & introverted personality that makes her mysterious and sexy in a way that transcends physicality.” – Justinn

“Rihanna definitely has the best body. I can’t complain with the two Queen Bs- Britney and Beyonce! They always look hot in whatever they wear!” – Caroline

“Britney of course!! natural body, sexy and hot” – Iv n

That’s all we have time for this week, Celebuzzers. Thanks for contributing! Remember, if you want to be featured in next week’s CommentBuzz, simply leave comments on your favorite articles.

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Celebrities With Miley’s Tongue and Other Funny Things

Some have called Miley Cyrus‘ recent performance at the MTV Video Music Awards “the gift that keeps on giving,” but I think you’ll find that most people simply refer to it – and the ongoing media circus – as “AGAIN WITH THIS GARBAGE?!” Unfortunately, despite numerous attempts to control the tastes of the internet, I have little say in the matter. And the memes, they just keep a-comin’. But hey, at least they’re pretty funny…

So yeah… here are a bunch of celebrities with Miley Cyrus’ tongue. Because #TheInternet:

Speaking of Miley…

I now turn your attention to Tom Hanks‘ face on your favorite animal GIFs:

Are you ready to get nostalgic? Here are photos of celebrities posing next to their former selves… Oh, Miley, what happened?!

I leave you with a few entertaining videos to help you waste your afternoon away. First up, this guy’s reenactment of Lady Gaga‘s “Applause” performance at the VMAs is KILLER:

And now for something completely different! Watch Whoopi Goldberg get interviewed by (arguably) the cutest cat on the world, Lil’ Bub:

And finally, a new Nekci Menij spinoff aired today. And it is wonderful:

That’s all the fun and funniness we can spare! Go out into the world now; live your life, and become a better person. JK PLEASE STAY PARKED AND CONTINUE READING ARTICLES ON CELEBUZZ DOT COM KTHXBAI.

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Community: 10 Greendale Classes We Would Love To Enroll In

Community

It is virtually impossible to tell you how many times I have fallen asleep in class. While college/university is the time of your life, history, chemistry, and linguistics know how to zap the life force out of you. That is, if you have not enrolled at Greendale Community College.

Community has had one tough semester after another as executives keep fans in fear of cancelling one of the funniest shows on television. The antics of the world’s most dysfunctional study group: Jeff, Britta, Shirley, Pierce, Abed, Troy, and Annie have thrown every pop-culture, slapstick, too close to reality joke they can find. Parodying any medium, fad, or style of entertainment, Community presents a hilarious take on the life of college.

So with college comes classes and Greendale is not your typical college…it’s not even sure to be a college. From campus wide paintball wars to puppy parades to drug-free assemblies gone horribly wrong, Greendale is sure to offer the oddest school experience you can pay for with cash.

So with that in mind, I give you ten classes Community has to offer that we would love to participate in.

The post Community: 10 Greendale Classes We Would Love To Enroll In appeared first on WhatCulture!.

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CommentBuzz: The Week’s Best Reader Comments About New Pop Music, Gia Allemand, and More

GREAT NEWS! I invented a time machine! SAD NEWS (for you)! Only I, the inventor of said time machine, can use it! But fear not, I will share my findings with you, because I am nice and you are lovely. Shall I take it for a spin? Heeeeerrreeeeee weeee goooooo!

Readers, I am in a strange place. It appear to have gone back in time. Yes, yes… new music by Lady Gaga and Katy Perry is just now leaking. I have gone back in time by almost a full week! Wow, the wonders of time travel. What else is happening this week? The Teen Choice Awards? Amazing! Beyonc changed her hair again?! I feel so honored to relive these historic pop culture moments. But the best part about my time machine is that it allows me to find awesome reader comments, which I will share with you after the jump.

Both Katy Perry and Lady Gaga released new singles this week. Thoughts on “Roar”?

sounds exactly like Sara Bariella’s brave.” – Jonathan

“i didn’t feel it tbh” – Islam

“Dud!” – Sara

“Sounds like the rest of her stuff. Still sounds like bubble gum pop.” – Christine

Gaga stepped out wearing… well… not much. People had conflicting opinions:

“She has no couth whatsoever. She is just like Miley Cyrus and all the other attention whores. Stop, just stop. It isn’t cute.” – kelliemurray

“She does have a nice ASS though……” – Sarah

Speaking of leaks and Lady Gaga, her duet with Cher, “The Greatest Thing,” leaked:

“Not that I’m crazy about Cher, but I think she has a much better voice and like the timbre better than Lady Gaga because she sounds like a little girl trying to sound like like an adult. I actually like the melody.” – Martha

On Courtney Stodden‘s lettuce bikini:

“Where is a buuny rabbit when you need it?” – zgary

In sad news, The Bachelor star Gia Allemand died after attempting to hang herself. Fans offered their support:

I am a loss – even though I did not know Gia personally, watching her on The Bachelor and the Bachelor Pad, as well as reading her Twitter feeds, I could tell that she had a sweet spirit, is a sensitive soul….I wish there was a way to let her know how precious she is” – Ana

“Funny how all these sycophantic suck-ups who never knew her, or gave a crap about her when she was alive, all of a sudden claim to be “praying” for her. A little late now, don’t you think? How come not a goddamned one of you never lifted a finger to help her or do anything positive for her before? If you all only knew how phony you sound. You all disgust me.” – Randy

“Very sad news. My prayers and thoughts go out to Gia’s family, boyfriend and friends. As for Vienna, it’s very surprising to see her describe Gia as her “best friend from the show.” I seem to recall alot of cattiness, petty behavior and just plain nastiness on Vienna’s part and most of the women on Vienna’s season did not like Vienna. It seems a bit like Vienna is exploiting Gia’s tragic situation to maintain a shred of relevance. May Gia rest in peace.” – siliconvalleygirl

Paula Deen fans came out in support of the news that the lawsuit against her had been dismissed:

“The reason it became negative from the start was publisizing it in the MEDIA! If the Media hadn’t of blown it out of perportion, A lot of this would not have happened. She would have had her day in court, exonerated, and that would have been that! Thank you AGAIN, media for stirring the pot!” – Jean

“‘Only now it seems to have taken a more positive turn for the fallen chef since a federal judge threw out the race discrimination claims at the crux of the lawsuit filed against her by a former employee and ultimately led to the swift downfall of her culinary empire.’ ~ It’s only positive as long the race baiting, hate stirring press allows it to stay positive. Give them time, I’m sure there’s lots more hate to spread.” – mottm

“WOOOHOOOO! NEVER HAD A DOUBT THAT SHE WAS GUILTY! GOES TO SHOW YOU THAT GOOD ALWAYS WINS IN THE END! GOD BLESS YOU DEAN FAMILY! YOU WILL ALL BE STRONGER FOR BEING TESTED BY THE FIRE!!” – Deborah

Good for you Paula. I didnt think the law suit would go anywhere as it was something you said years ago and quite common in the South at that time. Just open up your own dabnat store and to hello with stores like Target and Pennys and wherever else your products were displayed. They abandoned you before they KNEW all the FACTS!!! Shallow, small minded people indeed!” – Martha

Lastly, the Teen Choice Awards happened, which means RED CARPET CRITIQUES:

“the outfit isn’t bad…Miley Cyrus looked trashy..I could almost see her underwear if she was wearing anything…Naya dressed appropriately, after all at the end of the TCA the entire audience was twerking???!!!! It wasn’t the Nick Awards…” – Ashley

That’s all we have time for this week, Celebuzzers. Thanks for contributing! Remember, if you want to be featured in next week’s CommentBuzz, simply leave comments on your favorite articles.

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The Cars From El

Illustration by Mark Matcho

You probably saw the nightmarish Pioneer Press story a few months back about the woman who got assaulted on the Blue Line with a sock full of feces. “It was everywhere,” said the 21-year-old college student, who understandably chose to remain anonymous. “On my face, my hair, my clothes. . . . The worst part is nobody had anything to wipe my face with.”

Maybe you retched, or maybe you laughed. As the unknown assailant’s fecal high jinks went viral, jokes began stacking up on message boards. (“If more people on that train had been carrying socks full of poop, this never would have happened,” quipped a commenter on Deadspin.) But for commuters who have witnessed all manner of el-related depravity, the attack was just another brick in the wall: Good Lord, now I have to pack a change of clothes in case I get hit by a random shitsock?

The whole filthy skirmish could be seen as a good-night kiss to the old CTA, which has begun rolling out its brand-new 5000 series railcars. The first beneficiaries were the Green and Pink Lines; recently, even the beleaguered Red Line started to get a few of its own. Each of the new cars—eventually there will be 706 of them, at a cost of $1.37 billion—features hydraulic suspension, LED displays, and seven live security cameras, which will finally provide conductors with multiple angles from which to spectate excrement hurling.

The new interior represents the most notable change, with its long rows of center-facing perimeter seats, a wider aisle, and more standing space near the doors. “New aisle-facing-seating floor plans provide a roomier interior designed to allow passengers easy ingress and egress through the exits of the car doors,” said CTA president Forrest Claypool at a November 2011 press conference, mouthing what sounded like a computer-generated sound bite. Indeed, the 5000s, the CTA’s first train upgrade in 20 years, are cleaner, greener, smoother, safer, and more economical than the old cars. And riders hate them.

Common laments include motion sickness, lack of privacy, door crowding, badly placed poles, feet in the aisle, compulsory crotch gazing, and a sense of being herded like cattle. Even those who prefer the new cars—manufactured by Montreal-based Bombardier Transportation—might focus on the fact that the 17.5-inch bucket seats don’t come close to containing your average Chicago tuchis.

We could debate ad nauseam whether your $2.25 entitles you to a foot of personal space, a window view, or the right to not get clocked by a stranger’s backpack while you play with your iPhone. Let’s not. More germane is that the CTA has obliterated generations of unspoken el protocol. The rider’s code of conduct, once as ingrained in us as our contempt for Wisconsin drivers, is suddenly irrelevant. That’s why commuters hate the 5000s. Bombardier says they will last for 40 years, and it may take half that time to unlearn our habits.

When we boarded the old cars, our limbs acted on impulse. Within milliseconds, we could scan the entire car, with all its familiar nooks and crannies, and immediately understand where the most desirable spot was and how likely we were to get it—and what our next best option was if we didn’t. If that plum seat over there was open only because it had some mysterious stain or the guy beside it smelled like a gibbon’s armpit, we knew before looking and/or sniffing. With a quick glance, we sensed who was pregnant and who simply obese. We stood if we had to and sat if we could. We moved to the middle of the car and got up for seniors not because we were kind, but because it was the el and that’s just what you did.

Everyone knew how the game was played—even the riders who refused to play along: the pole huggers, the door whores, and the individuals who used bags to save seats for imaginary friends. And the rule followers instinctively knew which of their fellow riders could not be counted on to follow the rules. Our heads did all the social geometry; our bodies responded accordingly.

Now? We look at those little seats, 17.5 inches of flimsy molded plastic, and do unproductive mental calculations regarding the dimensions of all adjacent shoulders and asses. Our inner monologue involves unanswerable questions: How badly do I want to sit? Am I willing to compress my own testicles to fit into that tiny space? Is it worth risking that skeezy dude dry-humping my leg?

If we sit, the new train configuration forces us to confront something far worse: the possibility that we’re not cut out for urban life after all. The old rows of two-seaters gave Chicagoans the illusion of privacy. Now we’re thrust into a community that doesn’t embrace us any more than we embrace it, face to face and thigh to thigh with the same hucksters, drunks, and maniacs we could once ignore, trying to decide whether to suppress every territorial impulse or punch someone in the throat.

Our brains, saddled with outdated operating systems, can only crash when presented with a new layout and rules we don’t understand. So we end up doing the easiest thing, which also happens to be the most selfish thing: We stand by the door. Or we grab a pole because they’re familiar and something deep in our core doesn’t trust those straps hanging overhead. (Most of us forget the straps entirely until one smacks us in the face on the way out.) “Passengers still need to learn how to use these cars most efficiently,” Kevin O’Neil, a.k.a. the CTA Tattler, wrote recently on his blog—a nice way of saying people don’t know what the hell they’re doing.

Once upon a time, we could live a fantasy that we were protected from the city’s germs and odors and inconveniences. We could disregard Poopsock Man. But he’s still out there. And if he strikes on the new el, the shit will hit us all.

 

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A Guide to Logan Square: Where to Eat, Shop, and Play

(Clockwise from top left) Yusho, Logan Theatre, Fleur, The Whistler, Bang Bang Pie Shop, and City Lit Books
 

Related:

More Neighborhood Guides »

BANG BANG PIE SHOP
[1] The pie flavors change almost every day, but you’ll always have a fruit, a cream, and a chocolate option—all beyond decadent. 2051 N. California Ave., 773-276-8888, bangbangpie.com

CENTENNIAL MONUMENT
[2] Designed by Henry Bacon and dedicated in 1918, the marble Doric column in the middle of the square commemorates the centennial of Illinois’s statehood.

Small Chinatown map

Click to view the full map.

CITY LIT BOOKS
[3] Hit this independent bookstore for its expertly stocked shelves and knowledgeable staffers (ask for a recommendation). 2523 N. Kedzie Blvd., 773-235-2523, citylitbooks.com

FLEUR
[4] Sure, you can order unique flower arrangements at this charming shop, which brides across Chicago do. But you’ll find soaps, candles, and baby toys too. 3149 W. Logan Blvd., 773-395-2770, fleurchicago.com

LOGAN THEATRE
[5] The 98-year-old movie house offers much more than just films (Live Comedy Mondays, anyone?). 2646 N. Milwaukee Ave., 773-342-5555, thelogantheatre.com

LULA CAFE
[6] This contemporary American spot excels at cocktails and high-end comfort food (lamb sweetbreads, gnocchi with boar sausage). 2537 N. Kedzie Blvd., 773-489-9554, lulacafe.com

MASA AZUL
[7] Jenny Kessler’s awardwinning cocktails (heavy on mezcal and tequila) perfectly complement those tangy braised pork tacos. 2901 W. Diversey Ave., 773-687-0300, masaazul.com

NEW WAVE COFFEE
[8] The clientele differ—lit lovers, Apple junkies, chatty knitting groups—but the java (made with local Metropolis beans) is consistently excellent at this coffee shop. 2557 N. Milwaukee Ave., 773-489-0646, newwavecoffee.com

A drink from Scofflaw

Scofflaw

SCOFFLAW
[9] Danny Shapiro’s robust rotating drink menu earned the one-year-old gin joint the top spot on Chicago’s 2013 list of the best bars in the city. 3201 W. Armitage Ave., 773-252-9700, scofflawchicago.com

THE WHISTLER
[10] The bar that spawned the affordable cocktail trend back in 2008 still packs them in every weekend. 2421 N. Milwaukee Ave., 773-227-3530, whistlerchicago.com

WOLFBAIT & B-GIRLS
[11] Here you’ll find chic women’s wear by local designers (Megan Lee, Squasht by Les) and by the boutique’s owners, Jenny Stadler and Shirley Kienitz. 3131 W. Logan Blvd., 312-698-8685, wolfbaitchicago.com

YUSHO
[12] This small-plate, yakitoriinspired restaurant opened in 2011 to ecstatic reviews. No wonder: Matthias Merges spent 14 years as executive chef at Charlie Trotter’s. 2853 N. Kedzie Ave., 773-904-8558, yusho-chicago.com
 

MARCH MUST-DOS

The indoor farmers’ market continues every Sunday in the Congress Theater lobby through March 24. Sample the suds at area taverns at the Internationale Hiking Day Pub Stroll on March 4. The Chicago Underground Film Festival, featuring local filmmakers, invades the Logan Theatre from March 6 to 10.

 

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